I have yet again to receive another message asking about marriage and about MR Right. Trust me, this is not the first time.
I dont know why people are asking me about this kind of question. Im no Dr Phil okayy. Issue ni sensitive betul! And I know Im not the only one among our age who's married. There's plenty of them. But ahh well. I hope I managed to help them, make them see things clearer, in one way or the other. Im always happy to give out my words of wisdom. Eceh.
Anyways, to just share with you what I thought, about marriage and "Mr Right".
The first friend who asked me this was now-Mrs Azurin. Right after the news that I was going to get engaged. Belum tunang lagi tu, orang dah tanya2 haha. She asked me how did I ever come to decide to be engaged, and to get married. At a young age especially. I simply say (so I think it was), "Sebab rasa dah nak kawin." And I told her what my dad told me, when I asked him about getting married. Yes, I did consult someone too okay! I asked him (punye lah nervous time tu, tgh cat dinding pulak tu. Tak tgk muka pun haha), "Ayah, how did you know when you are ready to get married?" And he said exactly that. "Bila rasa nak kawin". And he did. Senang kan? Me and Zurin talked some more, and then she got married a few months after that! Good on ya babe! :D
And I think, making this decision should be the easiest. You will know when you are ready. In my opinion, when you even think about marriage, you are one step closer. No matter if you already have that someone to get married to, or not. Allah dah jadikan kita berpasangan. So it will come sooner or later.
And now there's this Mr Right question pulak. Honestly, I dont think it should be a question. You'll know yourself if he/she is right for you. You dont need someone to tell you he/she is the one for you (unless you're really blind to see it). But then again, there's also some yang bercinta bagai nak mabuk, to the wrong person. It doesnt just go by love alone (ayat sebijik2 yg telah dibagi kepada si kawan yg bertanya heh heh). Sebab kadang-kadang kita bercinta, dah tak nampak yg buruk-buruk. Semua pun indah. Kena maki hamun pun telan je. Sebab cinta. That, my friend, is wrong. And that is definately not your Mr Right.
After being questioned by her about how do I know if my husband is my Mr Right, I immediately asked my Mr Husband, "Are you?". Of course die cakap entah lah. And honestly, at some point, I would say that too.
But after that, I looked at him, when he's peacefully sleeping (I love to do this, to make me see him as he is), and I know that Ive made the right decision by marrying him. I would not lie and say there's no halangan or distraction. There are. Still, I think. But I came through, and see some senses. Lust, or want isnt real. Love, what you have or what you need is real.
I told her, I know he is right for me when I know that I could never find a better guy than him. He's good to his family, mine, and of course to me. He values his family very much, and that is important to me. He accept me as who I am. No matter how lousy I was as a girlfriend, and how lousy I am as a wife, especially in the kitchen hehe.
And I know he is my Mr Right when I can see a future with him. I can see having a family and kids with him. Although we dont have any yet at the moment (Ok, lets not get into that again. sigh). Anyway. I know he is my Mr Right when I know that he is going to take good care of me, instead of the other way around. And I know he's going to be a good husband, as good as when he was a boyfriend to me.
So there. Its not THAT hard now is it? When you have someone, that you know will be able to make you happy for the rest of your life, hold on to him/her. And when you are thinking about getting married, you are ready. Dont be afraid. Marriage is beautiful. Its not something to be afraid of. And when you marry the right person, you will find out how it feels like when you're finally there. ;) I cant really put into words to describe it.
p/s This is entirely based on my own opinion and my experience. I am not some expert. Our views may differ. Thank you.