Monday, May 11, 2009

baby talks

I read Nicole Richie is pregnant again.

And I thought to myself, how easy can it get? I mean, everyone is pregnant, or just had a baby. Most of the people that got married, a month or so later, the wife's expecting. And most of them did not even expect it nor plan it.

Salma Hayek was on Oprah just now, talking about her baby. She's 43 and just had a baby. She said its the perfect time for her. She said she didnt expect it to be so soon as well, as of her age. She thought she might have to work on it, but then she's just got pregnant. Wow, it's that easy huh?

I always tell someone who's pregnant, "Lucky you." And that person would say, "Lucky you too. You get to have all the time you want, all the honeymoon, until you're ready." And I thought to myself, "Yeah. Maybe." I know. I should be grateful with whatever I have or dont have.

Its not to say that we've been trying for so long. We just tried. But I guess with no rezeki just yet. I get frustrated easily now whenever I got my period. I thought it would be easy, just like other people. Like Nicole Richie and Salma Hayek. And whenever I voiced out my frustration, hubby would calm me down and say, "Takpe laa, takde rezeki lagi. Nanti Tuhan nak bagi, dia bagi laa." Of course I would cry again.

Now, I cant imagine what other people who has been trying for years, would feel.

Our friends here are constantly praying that I'd "jangkit" whenever Im holding a baby. So yeah, sometimes its a pressure when people say that, but deep down Id be praying that I would get "berjangkit"!

Some chose not to have a baby yet. And we did decided to wait for a while. And now we are ready. We think we are. And we are trying. And trying.

I promised myself not to cry anymore, or get too emotional if things doesnt go as what I have hoped for. I promised myself to just enjoy with whatever I have, and the freedom that both of us are having right now. Some people would envy us, yeah. And we envy them.

I dont know why I want a baby so much right now. I guess its the maternal instinct?
I dont know.
Hubby wants it too. I guess we would feel more complete with a little junior of our own. I cant imagine what it would feel like, to bring another human being to this world, to raise and to teach a child. And I guess we also need that kind of responsibility, to remind ourselves, that its not only just us that we have to think about. We need to mature.

I know. We make plans, but things doesnt necessarily go as planned. And I know, God has better plans for us.

Its not easy for me to actually write about this so publicly. Its too personal. But at some point I thought, I should get this out of my system. I need to get it out. Maybe I can get a little bit of consolation from you guys. And some words of wisdom and inspiration perhaps.

p/s My cousin who got married a few weeks after us is now a father to a baby boy, Edrian. His wife delivered on 8th May 2009, a month earlier than expected. Congratulations!


Zurin said...

aww.. babe.. i rasa terharu gile baca ur post..dunno why since I'm still holding it off..

You'll get there.. :) best of luck yeah?

.m.I.E.y.a. said...

sarah!! aja aja u can do it!

dick* said...

syed/sarah, you'll get there - your orders are being processed now. lambat sket sebab high-spec. hehs.

on a more serious note, that'a a really "honest" piece of writing. bleh rase emotions. hang in there, be safe.

zoo said...

sarr darling,u'll make cute babies dont worry.ure almost there.dont be sad..try harder babe ;p im sure we'll hear good news frm u soon..

much love frm kl.

a z a l i a said...

aww babe. insyallah soon. good luck! :)

s u r a y a said...

good luck Sarah & hubby...harap2nya dpt preggie secara natural biarpun lambat sikit...

the more God make u wait the more worthwhile & precious baby tu insyaAllah..

we'll pray for u Sarah!!! takmo sedey2 :)

s u r a y a said...

sarah, just fyi, (no need to publish this)

if u havent already,

try reading or

she pun dulu had trouble conceiving. and then she had her first child but only for 5 months, the child passed away.

soon after dapat 2nd child, and now she's pregnant wit her third. there are stories about viruspadu ni nangis2 and depressed sebab lambat mengandung at first..and her stories about the first child etc..very inspirational..there are a few others i tak dpt nak ingat now hehe..

hope this helps somehow :) tc

.:y a n a h a s h i m:. said...

that's 4 sure sarah. Allah definitely has a better plan for us.. don't Q a lot about it. as long as kite usaha, x give up and doa, the day will come. remember, some people wait more 2,3,4,5,n more to get a child. it's early still for u to be sad n frustrated.

ok,, sabar tau :)


Mrs Li - Faeeza Yusoff said...

we just talkd bout tis yest kan....sabar ye, insyaALLAH, ade rezki awk nnt ;) let's trying :D!

f a i z a h 's said...

Salam sarah...
Jgn putus asa dgn rahmatNYA, teruskan usaha dan jgn putus2 berdoa sesungguhnya DIA Maha Mendengar rintihan hamba2NYA... All the best to u ^_~

Sarah said...

Thank you everyone, for all you support and wishes. Insyallah, bila ada rezeki, soon.

Melissa Mazlan said...

Sarah dear! dun'll get there=) Miss You!